If you are looking around and wondering how to win back your love, then I imagine that you have found yourself in a spot where you are still in love with your Ex, but they have left your relationship.
The first step you must take in order to win back their love must be to put some distance between you and them, and make sure you have your head together. It would be a huge mistake to try and win back their love within just a few days of the breakup. This is especially true if it was a loud, or painful breakup. So be sure to separate yourself from the relationship, and maintain some distance.
Your first duty is to look out for your own well-being.
You just went through a painful breakup, and it has done some damage. Even if you were to try and start a relationship with someone other than your Ex, it would (at this point) be doomed to failure. You’re just not ready. So this means absolutely no contact with the Ex! If for some reason, you must (to get valuables, or property or such, then take a friend, and make it an in and out affair, with a short time limit, and keep things cordial and upbeat. Absolutely no trying to set up any sort of next meeting, and no rehashing of the breakup!
This is not an easy thing to do.
One moment you are in a committed relationship with your Ex, now you have to make NO CONTACT. However hard this is for you, keep the long-term-goal (wining back their love) in mind. The reason you have to have no contact with your Ex is that it puts you in a position of weakness. It puts you puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. This is especially true if your Ex has requested that you leave them alone. (Be honest now, you know they did.) If you continually try calling, texting, or trying to see your Ex, you will become far less appealing to them: they will think of you as pathetic.
So since Ex’s absolutely hate this behavior, and use that hate to keep the “break-up fires burning, you absolutely must use this time and energy to get yourself together.
As you make yourself the focus, make sure you are not just spending all of your time all alone. It is so easy to find yourself just sitting around, re-running the memories of your old relationship, thinking of your Ex and your failure to maintain your relationship. Now, as I’m sure you can imagine this as a guaranteed way to get depressed. Allowing yourself to get depressed is a surefire way to inherit a whole other level of major problems that you just don’t want or need to deal with right now.
Get yourself out of the house.
Reconnect with family and friends (those people who care about you), anything to keep from being alone. Definitely get out and meet new people and have some fun! I know, this might not be easy at the beginning, but is a STEP IN THE PROCESS! If you want to find out how to win back their love, you have to do this!
You will feel yourself getting back to your old self after the shock and destruction of the break-up. Now it’s time to be honest about what role you had in the break-up. You have to be honest, because you were (at least) half the problem. If you still have a mutual girl-friend (a girl that was good friends with both yourself and your Ex), now would be the time to go out to coffee with her, and tell her to be brutally honest. It’s a guarantee that she noticed EVERYTHING. You could ask your mutual guy friend, but chances are he didn’t notice a thing….sorry, but it’s true.
Especially true when the break-up is fresh, it is very easy to blame your Ex for everything that went wrong.
This is easy to do, but it is wrong.
If you hold on to this, you are lying to yourself, and won’t be able to move past the break-up to a position where you can heal. It takes two to tango: learn from your mistakes. You have to own something to fix it so it doesn’t come back to bite you again.
The point is: During this time away from your Ex, you have to be painfully honest with yourself. You have to learn, and own what you did that contributed to the break-up.
Let’s face it: you can’t fix whatever your Ex might have done that was wrong, and contributed to the breakup. You are completely unable to fix another person. You can only fix yourself.
I’ll say that again:
YOU CAN ONLY FIX YOURSELF.
So did you make a mistake? Did you make a mistake that was so big that you “broke” your relationship? Or did you do something “small”? “Small” things build up, you know.
Did you do something “small”?
“Small” like a straw?
Was this the “straw that broke the camel’s back”?
See what I’m saying?
What did you do?
Whatever you did, you need to figure out how you are going to fix this. How are you going to change the behavior that made the mistake that ended up in your losing your relationship?
Now I know…..some of these steps will seem counter-intuitive.
Nobody said this was going to be easy, Rocco.
If you are genuinely serious about learning how to get your love back, then these steps, and others, are steps you MUST take.